Mustache Profiled: The Milk Mustache
Stache Claim to Fame: False Advertising!
This week I wanted to clear something up that has been plaguing the mustache community for too long. The Milk Corporations have been wrongly capitalizing on the false advertising that Milk helps grow mustaches. I have been attempting to grow a solid mustache for a couple weeks now and, the “Got Milk” campaign has wrongfully advertised the power of milk. Like the other day, I tried to drink a half gallon of milk before class thinking that during class would be some good down time for a growth spurt but, what ended up happening was me vomiting a half a gallon of milk into a sorority girl’s hair. She then vomited on to another student in the class, this caused a chain reaction of vomits of students in the class. When I was asked to leave the class, I then vomited into the professors brief case. My mustache is as sparse as ever, and I am now banned from entering the Science Building. So I wanted to take this week to clear up the incorrect notion that drinking milk leads to powerful staches. It doesn’t.
