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Check Out the Sketch of the Week: The Trip

xx That's My Mustache! Week 4
October 09, 2008, 01:46:32 AM by Alex Wilson

Mustache Profiled:  The Milk Mustache

Stache Claim to Fame:  False Advertising!


          This week I wanted to clear something up that has been plaguing the mustache community for too long.  The Milk Corporations have been wrongly capitalizing on the false advertising that Milk helps grow mustaches.  I have been attempting to grow a solid mustache for a couple weeks now and, the “Got Milk” campaign has wrongfully advertised the power of milk.  Like the other day, I tried to drink a half gallon of milk before class thinking that during class would be some good down time for a growth spurt but, what ended up happening was me vomiting a half a gallon of milk into a sorority girl’s hair.  She then vomited on to another student in the class, this caused a chain reaction of vomits of students in the class.  When I was asked to leave the class, I then vomited into the professors brief case.  My mustache is as sparse as ever, and I am now banned from entering the Science Building.  So I wanted to take this week to clear up the incorrect notion that drinking milk leads to powerful staches.  It doesn’t.
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xx SE Training = Shake it Music Video
October 08, 2008, 04:12:25 PM by Kristin Gibler
enjoy!


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/G781j1iW_e0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/G781j1iW_e0</a>
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xx From the Redundant Dept. of Redundancy...
October 04, 2008, 12:59:18 PM by Phil Hellraiser
So, in briefing through the New York Times today, I noticed some redundancy in the headline, In Governors’ Races, the Emphasis Is Local, Not National.  Maybe it's just me that reads that and sarcastically thinks: Wha?!? Governor elections aren't national?!? Also, in the paper version (but not the online version) of this article, a caption for one of the pictures reads:  The Republican contender, Representative Kenny Hulshof, a Republican...

Redundant, I know...

So, I decided to go on a hunt of rediculous headlines.  Headlines that actually were written, printed, and handed out in the day's paper.





I find this one to be particularly amusing:



Well I certainly hope they do remain dead.  We don't want a bunch of zombies among us!


Because not all of us can do yard work and hula hoop at the same time...
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xx SE Insurance
October 03, 2008, 01:58:29 AM by Adam Lord
If you were skeptical about me being Executive King of SE, this proposal will surely swing me into your favor.  SE Insurance, or PRACTICAL APPLICATION TO COMBAT ILLNESS AND DEATH, or PATCID.

Recently, I was infected with the Common Cold, or Acute Viral Nasopharyngitis (AVN).  It was debilitating for a day or two.  I couldn't walk at a normal pace, I slept an hour longer than normal, and was generally uncomfortable.

If my cold were a hairstyle, it would be this obnoxious.

Health is a major issue.  It seems like every year when summer turns to fall, AVN infects almost every member of SE.  Chances are, AVN will infect more than one person at a time, and in extreme cases, will affect everyone at the same time.  That means that for one to two weeks, Something Else is essentially out of commission.

To combat a nonproductive AVN week/fortnight, I will develop an insurance plan for all members.  In my PATCID plan, all members will be required to give a hair (or in case of baldness, blood) sample.  Then I'll make a clone of them.  This way, there will be no weeks of productivity loss.  And throughout the year, if members are killed, injured, or go home for the weekend, they can still be used to make sketches.

PATCID at work.  If John Malkovich was in Something Else.

Adam Lord for Executive King
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xx That's My Mustache! Week 3
October 02, 2008, 12:53:18 AM by Alex Wilson

Mustache Profiled:  Steve Prefontaine, Dr. J, Mark Spitz, Joe Namath

Stache Claim to Fame:  Champions!


          This week’s “That’s My Mustache” is profiling some Mustache Champions!  These athletes all have one thing in common; they were able to win… in style.  Steve Prefontaine once held the American records in 5 different track events.  Damn, he must have trained really hard.  Right? Wrong.  Steve won those records because he had “The Power of The Stache!”  That’s right.  Having the stache has proven to give people super human powers.  Dr. J, using his stache, was able to score 30,026 points while also having a very successful medical practice.   Mark Spitz was able to win 7 gold medals wearing only his underwear and one awesome face rudder to guide him through the water.  Beautiful Broadway Joe used the power of his stache to win Super Bowl III, by himself… naked. So, if you are like myself and, finding yourself failing all your classes as a result of writing Mustache Blogs, do what I am doing.  Grow a mustache and, come try out for the Indianapolis Colts with me!
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